Save Our Bluths: The Movie

Welcome to the many, MANY visitors from Beingfamous. I’m the Sickness/El Gigante and I love movies.

Let’s get down to it.

You would be hard pressed to find a bigger Arrested Development fan than I. I think the show serves as a benchmark for quality television comedy. The kind of show that deserves to be mentioned in the same breathe as Your Show of Shows, All in the Family, Taxi, the old Simpsons, the Larry Sanders Show, the Office; really the best of the best. But now that the strike is over can the potential AD join the ranks of great movie comedies? I’m cautiously optimistic. Obviously the die-hard fans will come out (maybe we’ll do a big ribbon cutting premiere) but does the cast appeal to the common man? Perhaps, but who the big pull may surprise you as I run down the MOVIE CAREERS OF THE BLUTH FAMILY.
The reason for this article is for my late-night-can’t-sleep-screening of The Brothers Solomon. Damn it all the math just didn’t work at all. I mean check it out.

Will Arnett=Funny, Bob Odenkirk=Funny, Will Forte=Funny, Chi McBride=funny

But somehow

(Will Arnett+Will Forte+Chi McBride) x Bob Odenkirk=Not funny

This is why I scored so low on my math SAT’s. It’s really made me reconsider my whole stance on Will Arnett as a viable filmic leading man. On Arrested the guy is fall on the floor funny just by existing, but is it that I find GOB Bluth that funny and not Arnett? Blasphemy I know.

Ok so let’s run it down:
Jason Bateman: A frequent face in the "Comedy clique" films people may recognize him from his work in Dodgeball, Starsky & Hutch or the Break Up all of which did big business. As Bateman branches out he begins to demonstrate greater range he is not pulling in an audience in films like The Kingdom or Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Too many he’s the wryly funny supporting guy. He ain’t a lead.
UPDATE: Oh crap, I forgot Juno. Or did I? Could my omission be a tacit reaction to my feelings on Bateman in the film? Or am I just an idiot?

Will Arnett: God knows they’re trying to make him a legitimate member of the comedy clique but nothing is sticking. The studios don’t push his comedies and then to compound the problem the movies aren’t that funny. Let’s Go to Prison? The Brothers Solomon? Sorry even the biggest Will Arnett apologist would be hard pressed to call these “good.” Sterling and amusing supporting work in films like Hot Rod and Blades of Glory are all well and good but he’s not the flashiest or funniest thing in either film. Maybe his work as an announcer in the forthcoming Semi-Pro will give him a Fred Willard-esque bump.

David Cross-The Mr. Show vet is a dynamic performer and powerful voice in alternative stand-up comedy. But again, the guy doesn’t bring in a massive audience. Except he appeared in a 200 MILLLION dollar grossing film last year. Oh sure, he got a mountain of shit for it but the fact is to thousands of little kids he’s Ian, Alvin and the chipmunks dastardly manager. Could seeing ole Ian bring in the kiddies? Maybe.

Portia De Rossi: Her life as Mrs. DeGeneres (and you know, give her a fulfilling relationship) may put her in a lot of magazines but nothing in her filmography suggests that audiences know who she is.

Tony Hale: Oh yes I can see it now “Oh hey that guy from the short lived Andy Richter TV series!”

Alia Shawkat: Puberty has been VERY kind to her. Who could blame the boys for flocking to see a lovely young woman?

Jessica Walter: Menopause has been VERY kind to her. Who could blame the septuagenarians for flocking to see this GILF? Watch out boys loose seal on the loose.

Jeffrey Tambor: I love that his mst successful film work has been in the Hellboy films. Should Golden Army be a success (and I don’t see why not considering Guillermo’s traction post Pan’s Labyrinth) Tambor could bring the geeks who don’t already know AD. Oh and on a personal note, please Mr. Tambor no more sub-par TV series. You’ve been on two of the greatest TV shows of all-time (AD and The Larry Sander Sanders Show) so why settle for Welcome to the Captain.

Michael Cera: Ladies and gentleman, meet the reason why an Arrested Development movie will be successful. The two movies he appeared in in 2007 broke 100 million. Heck even the most strident detractors of Superbad (which is to say most women) think Michael Cera is adorable and hilarious and EVERYONE likes Juno. Except the people who like to be contrary. Cera is now a bonnafide movie star with huge appeal to audiences, if virgins will check-out an AD movie, it will be to see Cera. “Everybody likes you, you’re George Michael.” Well said Michael, well said.

Scarlett Johnasson career assessment (less dirty than it sounds)

Is Scarlett Johansson a leading lady? Is she a great actress? I ask because yesterday the lovely Ms. Johanson turned twenty-three. I'll say it again, Scarlett Johansson turned TWENTY-THREE! That's younger than I am by a whole year, but I don't have thirty-three film credits towards my name, nor was Esquire's sexiest woman alive last year.

Lets assess shall we. ScarJo had a number of small supporting roles starting with the rather dismal North in 1994. It was only at the start of the twenty-first century was Miss Johansson noticed by critics and indie audiences for her work in Ghost World and Lost in Translation. But hold on just a moment, looking back at this pair of films is Johansson the most memorable thing about either of them? Hardly. People look back at Translation and think of Murray turning around his career (if they remember Johansson they remember the cameras obsessive examination of the panties on her rear) (Ed. note-Well NOW I'm remembering it). The same could be said for Ghost World, people remember Thora Birch, the Bollywood opening credits and Steve Buscemi all long before they remember Scarlett.


Her next big break came in 2003 when she starred in The Girl with the Pearl Earring, but in that film she is the object moreso than the subject. The film became an arthouse hit (at least on the facebook pages of art-students anyways) and with it came more roles. Let me run some titles by you, see if any of them set off any bells. A Love Song for Bobby Long, The Perfect Score, A Good Woman. No? Nothing? Here most succesful film in this period is In Good Company but that is much more a showcase for the male leads Topher Grace and Dennis (sadly not Randy) Quaid.

When we hit 2005 we come to a genuinely excellent ScarJo performance which she has deservedly achieved recognition for. She's excellent as the destructive Nola Rice, a curvy, needy femme-fatale who engages in a passionate affair with Jonathan Rhys Meyers which, alas, takes a nasty turn toward murder. Its a moving, memorable and sexy performance, but she's not the lead. The same could be said for her sexy but distant work in The Black Dahlia and The Prestige. She plays a Woody Allen analogue in the director's Scoop but she's one of two Woody's in the film as for whatever reason Allen is in the film as well. She is the female lead of The Island but the whole point of her character is that she's a personality-less clone. So far she' been an honest to god female lead in ONE film. That would be The Nanny Diaries. I plan on seeing this movie, its on my Netflix q, honest. Unfortunately the chick-lit adaptation failed to capture the imagination of the public that embraced its sister film, The Devil Wears Prada.

Looking t the future Scarlett will be facing down Natalie Portman in the adaptation of the popular historical novel, The Other Boelyn Girl. The film's shuffling doesn't make me particularly optimistic but I do like the pedigree so we'll see. But here again ScarJo has some ample support from Seth Rogen sex-aide Eric Bana and Wonder Emporium employee Portman. Other projects in the works include another popular book adaptation He's Just Not that Into You, another Woody Allen film (she seems to be his new muse, the man is a genius) and looky-looky another femme fatale role a Silken Floss (LOVE IT) in Frank Miller's adaptation of the seminal comic series The Spirit.
I think Scarlett and her handlers are wise in not immediately shoving her into the limelight with lead roles (I'll ammend this depending on what I think of Nanny). She gets plenty of face time in magazines, gossip sites and so on so its not as though she needs the exposure. If she can really build up a solid CV of supporting work and further herself as a reliable commodity who can pull off sexy, smart AND funny (the rarest of combinations) there's nowhere for her to go but up. Maybe she could do a musical? Did you know she has a perfectly lovely alto voice.

Happy birthday Scarlett, we here at the Cinema give you a standing ovation.

Maybe we better sit down.