And the rest is silence

Anything I post today could not POSSIBLY compete with this bundle of greatness. I believe it is from the folks who brought us the 100 Best Quotes from the Wire. Here, without any additional commentary is the 100 Cheesiest Movie Lines of All Time.

The Squeakquel

If you've been living under a rock (or for some reason have some sort of ability to selectively tune out absolute crap) you're aware of the recently released Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. The film introduces the Chipettes to the live-action world of Alvin and his brothers (much to the delight of perverts and David Cross' real estate portfolio). Perhaps the most notable thing about the film is the "so stupid it's brilliant sub-title "the Squeakquel", which has to rank right up there with "Electric Boogaloo" and "The Quickening" as the greatest sequel title ever. But this got me thinking about a variety of other films that could take "The Squeakquel's" lead.

For your consideration:

Let's follow the adventures of everyone's favorite abusive mother in...Precious 2: The Mo'Niquel

Are you a Carrie? It's not too late for them to change the title to... Sex and the City 2: The Boutiquel

Post-Crystal Skull it might as well be... Indiana Jones and the Antiquel

I never saw the original but I'd be sure to check out... The Cookout 2: The Barbequequel

Think nothing can top the original? How about... Showgirls 2: The Burlesquel

And finally, the brilliance that could be Toque 2: The Torquequel

Thank you everybody. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Oh Oh Oh It's Magic

Is there a greater purveyor and advocate of whimsy then my friend Frank? I consulted the Oracle at Delphi about this and instead of her usual mumbo-jumbo about Croesus and the Spartans and what not, she simply said "no." Well Frank was first to point me to the below video (way before all the nerd sites). It's chalk full of magical movie moments. I'll grant that it's a touch fanboy heavy but by the end true movie fans will be so overwhelmed with good feelings that it won't matter.

Random Film Thought: Spencer & Tracy and my Old Person whining

Today I was lucky enough to stumble onto a TCM airing of George Cukor's Pat and Mike, I decided to stick around and watch as I'm a fan of Adam's Rib which features the same stars, writers and director. Those stars in question are of course Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, a classy celebrity coupling that, to my estimation, outdoes any combination of Bennifers, Brangelinas and Filliam H. Muffmans (sigh, I miss you Stephen Colbert). Though both actors did sterling work individually, together they possess a chemistry the likes of which is almost impossible to find on-screen.

What helps is that Hepburn though very attractive is not a conventional beauty and that Tracy is about seven years her senior. This prevents them from looking too perfect and unattainable in their coupling. You could believe that Tracy won over Hepburn with his charm, decency and gruff exterior, while Hepburn, well...there was simply no actress in Hollywood, in the world really, like Hepburn. Bryn Mawr educated, athletic, with a blistering wit and razor sharp timing, Hepburn had no equal. Well served in both comedy and drama, to my mind the couple was never better than when they were in romantic comedies where affection pours between the seams of every scene. Even when their characters bicker they're just so damn sweet. Tracy might throw Hepburn a look or Hepburn might crinkle her nose at a particular remark and it's glorious, even in my cropped TV version they're practically glowing at each other.

The reason I bring this up is because I was chatting with some folks at a Christmas party the other night and the issue of romance in relationships came up. At some point I maintained that while you have to put some effort in romance never completely fades away and there's nothing wrong when occasionally manufacturing some when it's needed. Maybe I'm just a hopeless optimist and romantic but I think watching any Hepburn and Tracy pairing more than proves my point even if it is only a movie.

Do you have any onscreen pairings that you thought transcended the story and really made you believe they were in love? Jon Cusack and Ione Skye in Say Anything? Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge!? Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally (thanks for the reminder Scott)? Put 'em in the comments. Oh please, please do, I'll be your best friend.

Random Film Thought: Missing you?

Warning: This post is a product of insomnia conjoined with hours of reading Diablo Cody's blog and the Onion AV Club's top films of 2007 list. You'll inevitably encounter vain attempts at being clever alongside nonsensical, incoherent ramblings. Enjoy!

As I slowly begin to prepare my final top 20 of 2007 (which by the way is at any time or place, including well into 2008, up for revision) I've begun to ponder, does distance help or hinder what one thinks of a film? Pauline Kael would infamously only watch a film once (she would rarely revisit) and only once to put it under critical analysis (but fuck that, I'm a Sarris boy). I can see Kael's reasoning though. The critic's opinion is undiluted, pure, unfiltered feeling and rationalizing right after seeing the subject. There's been some to consider but the film but for the most part it's fresh.
When you've first seen a film, say in the first day or so of its release, maybe you've only gotten a minimum of advanced word, maybe read a review or two before you headed into the theatre so as a result that first impression is pristine. Whatever you think isn't being subject to anyone or anything but you. But see a movie a couple of weeks into its release with some critical leg-work behind it or some bad word of mouth and that's going to affect how you look at it. "Obviously", you might think to yourself. Now I know I have plenty of strong independent thinkers who read this blog and would never stoop (stoop? yeah stoop) to let their own opinion be guided by what a critic has to say, or betray their own passion just to fall in line with what's popular. But the fact of the matter is we are all effected by our environment (unless of course we're all wingless angels guided like puppets by lil' Georgie's lord) however imperceptibly and it gives me pause to think "do I like/dislike No Country for Old Men because I liked other Coen brother movies and since everyone else likes this one I ought to. Furthermore as I get farther away from it will it become clearer that I admired it on a technical level but am losing a personal interest in a cinematic but still fairly rote adaptation of the book?" AHHHHHHH! Perspective, where did you go? Probably down the well into the land of no-happily-ever-after. (And with that my once an entry mention of Enchanted quota is FILLED).
What the hell am I getting at? Do you ever find yourself altering your opinion because of critical consensus? Have your feelings about a movie ever radically changed depending on when you saw it? Let me throw out a few examples. I saw Lost In Translation several months after its release at which point critics were tripping over themselves to sing the flick's praises. I thought it was perfectly pleasant but hardly the world breaker everyone had been trumpeting. On the other end of the spectrum is the delirious religious experience of being first in line at the old Mann Valley West 7 a very special May 1999. The nerds know what I'm talking about. Oh man, there were a lot of delusional nerds in a state of faux-euphoria walking out of the theatre that day. UGH! I liked the Phantom Menace, but I promise I only liked it for that first week I swear. What? I was going to say I didn't like it? I'd only been waiting for a new Star Wars movie since I was five!?!?!? Oh how I pity high school me. So what of it mesa-bloggers (BTW that was a Jar-Jar reference not a geographical one) how has time shifted your feelings on a film either positively or negatively.

Random Film Thought: Looking back, looking ahead

While watching the commentary track on Superbad (which continues the noble tradition of Apatow DVD commentary tracks nearly being as entertaining as the movies themselves), this little nugget came out. One of Michael Cera's first ever auditions was for The Sixth Sense. When asked if he read the line "I see dead people" he said no. He explains that he did the scene where he passes Willis a coin and says "Some magic is real." Look blog people, if I could replicate Cera's delivery I would, but I probably laughed for five minutes straight. Good lord. Michael Cera I love you sooooooo much. A lot of great DVD's out this December (Once, Blade Runner, 12 Angry Men: SE, Hot Fuzz 3 Disc, Ratatouille, Wire Season 4) but if you just want to laugh non-stop you can't go wrong with Superbad.
OK looking ahead. I hate to make plans on the blog because its like begging fate to come along and screw with me royally but I have some break time coming up so expect reviews of The Savages, Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a special review for Sweeney Todd, Walk Hard and my thoughts on the Walk Hard soundtrack. That's not even counting Monologue Mondays, Link Fridays and whatever other movie stuff that sticks to my craw between now and then. That's just between now and next Sunday. There's even better stuff coming down the pike. Get excited.

Random Film Thought: The Wild Rumpus Begins in '08

Awesome, just awesome. We've now seen the hides and the hairs of the monsters from the beloved Maurice Sendak children's novel adapted by Dave Eggers (!!! [not the band, just excited]) and directed by Spike Jonze, but still their faces remain a mystery. Well...not really, I mean you could just look at the book. If you don't know what book I'm talking about then may I be the first to say "welcome to Earth, here is your copy of Where the Wild Things Are." Anyway, just so you can get some voices to go with those non-faces check out this bad-ass line-up:
Forest Whitaker (he'll be the monster with the lazy eye but no one will mention it)
Catherine O'Hara
James Gandolfini (you'll know its him cause he'll be wheezing...a lot)
Lauren Ambrose (The Sickness LOVES Claire Fisher)
&
Mr. Tom Noonan
Don't know Noonan? For shame, because you actually DO! Check out the man's awe inspiring career of bad-assery here.

Oh man, this thing is so the antithesis to Cat in the Hat, I love it.

What children's classic would you like to turn into an amazing film? Who would you cast and who would direct?

Random Film Thought: Way Down in the Hole

What hath Haynes wrought?

Given how much I enjoyed I'm Not There I'm proposing a little game for my readers. You pick a major musician and then come up with six random actors or characters to play him or her. The winner will be acknowledged in a future post and maybe something else.

Here's one to start you off:
Franks' Wild Years: The Tom Waits Story

Waits will be played by Margaret Cho, Denzel Washington, Peter Saarsgard, Alan Arkin, the robot from Rocky IV, and a german shepherd.

Random Film Thought: Gotta go back in time

According to Entertainment Weekly's website (link and details are here) , God among men Seth Rogen is trying to convince 80's icon Huey Lewis (and I suppose by extension, the News) to compose a kick-ass theme for his sure to be classic The Pineapple Express. Apparently Rogen is a huge fan of "The Power of Love" as the theme of Back to the Future, though who isn't, and wants an official Lewis anthem for the flick. The film is an action-comedy written by the Superbad team of Rogen and Evan Goldberg, directed by indie muckity-muck David Gordon Green and starring Rogen and fellow Freaks and Geeks alum James "Noble Prize Otto!" Franco and with Lewis in the mix it just may have gotten even cooler. Is that even POSSIBLE at this point?!

Ok loyal blog-readers, here's my question, what's your favorite pop-song to have been created for, or is heavily identified with, a film? Is it "Power of Love" in BTTF, Ray Parker Jr.'s classic "Ghostbusters", "The Sound of Silence" in The Graduate, "New Slang" in Garden State or something else entirely. Those were just a couple off the top of my head. Please post your faves in the comments and lets get a little thing going here.


Also as an aside isn't "Back in Time" also kind of Huey Lewis' theme for BTTF? People clearly identify it with the movie, don't they?

Random Film Thought: Retroactively Clueless

Behold: The two most successful actors to come out of Clueless.

Did you predict it back in 1995?
How hot was Stacey Dash back in the day?
Still enjoying Donald Faison on Scrubs?
Post your answers in the comments.