Monday, June 9, 2008

A quick and handy primer for You Don't Mess With the Zohan

If one is going to see You Don't Mess With the Zohan for insight on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict then chances are this was the most academically challenging thing you've done in quite some time, so good for you. Before we continue any further let me clear up a few misconceptions you may now be harboring now that you've had your first sampling of political information in a mainstream entertainment. Please consider the following:

Israeli Mossad agents do not have actual super-powers (though the Mossad is one of the premiere intelligence and counter-terrorist agencies in the world).

Much of the slang used in the film is neither Hebrew nor Arabic, it is however silly.

Hezbollah does not have a hot-line though it is a fairly media savvy terrorist organization.

Yes, Palestinian children throw stones as a weapon but they tend to only do it when cameras AREN'T watching.

There is no terrorist fast-food chain, though Burger Ranch may cause explosive diarrhea.

Israeli men are in reality fairly sexually discriminating and will not wantonly screw anything they see.

Hacky sack is NOT traditionally played with a goal.

Humus, while a popular staple of the Israeli diet, does not go on everything. Chocolate spread on the other hand...

Discoing is a popular form of entertainment but now the word is analogous to clubbing not actual 70's style disco-dancing.

Yes, a large number of Israelis do work in electronic stores but many also work in construction and Jewish education.

Israeli and Arabs do not have huge weapons caches hidden away in their places of employment but many Israelis (as part and parcel of their mandatory military service) are proficient in small arms.

Can my more knowledgeable friends point out some other factual discrepancies in the film that you're worried about the Sandler fans walking away from this movie actually believing?

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