Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Sickness' Cinema Guide to Summer '08 Part Three

When I started this feature we still had a few weeks until the summer movie season started. Now Iron Man sits high atop a mountain of fan adoration and money and Speed Racer is waiting in the wings as a big, hallucinogenic looking question mark. Remember you can check out my run-down of May here and prep for June here.
Hancock (July 4)
Premise: Will Smith plays the screen's first reprobate drunken hero while Spike Lee waits in the wings to complain that the first reprobate, drunken hero is black.
The Sickness ingredient: Peter Berg can tell a story well. Will Smith IS Mr. Fourth of July. Having Arrested Development alums Jason Batemen and Charlize Theron doesn't hurt.
What worries me: The premise sounds thin and early word was bad, but the previews just look so entertaining.

The Wackness (July 4)
Premise: The next Little Miss Sunshine/Juno/accessible stylized independent film with big name actors and a trendy soundtrack.
The Sickness ingredient: Good word of mouth after it's debut at Sundance. Features Juno best pal and honest-to-blog cutie Olivia Thirlby. Also a pot-smoking Ben Kingsley.
What worries me: That the backlash will hit before the movie even comes out.
SC Pick: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11)
Premise: Elves, fairies and mystical fantasy characters are pissed for being shunted off to the sidelines for so many years and want to take back the Earth. Hellboy and his band of misfits stop them.
The Sickness ingredient: Loved the first Hellboy and Guillermo Del Toro is still riding high (deservedly so) after the masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth. Plus with the origin stuff out of the way we can spend all our time developing caharcters and kicking-ass. Plus, MORE MONSTERS!
What worries me: The month is crowded with super-heroes and Hellboy just isn't as popular as Batman or Will Smith.

Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3-D (July 11)
Premise: Would you believe me if I said that this movie was about a trip to outer-space...in 2-D?
The Sickness ingredient: I'm amused that this and Mummy sequels is what Brendan Fraser has been reduced to. At least it's in the ridiculous glory that is 3-D.
What worries me: Been there, done that.

Meet Dave (July 11)
Premise: Eddie Murphy in Eddie Murphy=My lunch NOT in my stomach.
The Sickness ingredient: This film certainly does raise the too hot and talented for this movie quotient better than any other film this summer-Gabrielle Union AND Elizabeth Banks. Hot.
What worries me: A film that boasts proudly "From the makers of Norbit", do I need to spell it out for you.
SC Pick of the Month: Batman: The Dark Knight (July 18)
Premise: Does the presence of Batman in Gotham City create a costumed element to the criminal underworld? I don't know, but it's the same creative team as the first one, The Godfather of super-hero movies.
The Sickness ingredient: Hmmmm, maybe it's the EVERYTHING. Chris Nolan directs, Christian Bale and Michael Caine return, Maggie Gyllenhaal replaces some dead weight and Aaron Eckhart and Heath Ledger menace the Dark Knight.
What worries me: Whiny "too soon" contingent needlessly uncomfortable over Ledger's performance as the Joker.

Mamma Mia! (July 18)
Premise: Hey you know what's a great song? "Fernando." We should do a whole musical of Abba songs! Whoah, let's not get carried away. No, LET'S!
The Sickness ingredient: You can pretend to hate Abba songs, but you're just lying to yourself. Plsu uber hottie Amanda Seyfried (Mean Girls, Veronica Mars) and uber talented Meryl Streep are on hand.
What worries me: Ugh, it's sooooo lame and girly.

Space Chimps (July 18)
Premise: Two adults had sex creating a child they weren't prepared for, so now they'll subject said child to any piddling animated crap as a means of distracting him or her for two hours. Repeat times a million. Add space chimps.
The Sickness ingredient: Patrick Warburton never gives less then a hundred percent to anything he's in, whether it's great or awful. Plus I shouldn't be so mad because apes plus anything usually equals greatness.
What worries me: The whole thing seems so damn slapdash and focus-grouped to within an inch of it's life.
SC Pick: Step Brothers (July 25)
Premise: Two grown men in a serious state of arrested development are forced to live together when their parents marry. Did I mention that the two grown men are John C. Riley and Will Ferrell. Hilarity ensues assuming it's not the same thing we've seen for the last six movies like this.
The Sickness ingredient: A Judd Apatow produced, Adam McKay directed, R-rated Will Ferrell comedy. It could be the next Anchorman.
What worries me: Or it could be the next Talladega Nights (which isn't the worst thing in the world but come on...wouldn't you want another Anchorman?).

The X-Files: I Want to Believe
(July 25)
Premise: An X-Files movie? What's next, a Simpsons movie? Hah, not bloody likely.
The Sickness ingredient: Even though I never really watched the X-Files on the air (yeah I'm surprised too) Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny continue to delight and surprise in all their subsequent work.
What worries me: Could I as a non-fan go in blind and follow? Probably. But I like to get the little inside jokes. Awww, damnit.

The Longshot (July 25)
Premise: Fred Durst (yes, THAT Fred Durst) directs Ice Cube in this family film where-
You know what, no, even I have my limit. Sorry. No more. I'm done.

1 comment:

Frank said...

Hancock was apparently doing reshoots in Times Square last Saturday. This does not bode well.